Off the Beaten Path: Valentine's Flicks

I know there are a lot of Valentine's haters out there, but I've never really seen the point. Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love; we all (hopefully) have some form of love in our lives, be it romantic, familial, friendly. And we get an entire day to remember it, celebrate it and share it! I think it's lovely.

We enter a very important phase of Valentine's Day preparation: the film. What you watch and who you watch it with can make a world of difference between a memorable Valentine's Day and a "that time we watched Love Actually that wasn't Christmas" kind of day. We all know the classics: Titanic, Romeo + Juliet, Pride and Prejudice, etc. Boring (or not, I'll be watching Romeo + Juliet, don'tlookatme). But, dear reader, whether you've got a honey by your side on the big day or not, I shall now draw upon my five years of cinema scholarship and select five more offbeat films that will make your night something to remember.

For the Traditionalist: Romeo and Juliet

I know, I know. "Offbeat!" I said. "This is Romeo and Juliet, for cripes' sake!" you exclaim. Today it's far more trendy to watch Luhrmann's version of the Shakespearean tragedy, but just because this one takes place in the actual period in which it was set with actors the same age as the characters they portray doesn't make this version outdated or old-fashioned. It's urgent, passionate, believable and utterly beautiful. I mean, LOOK AT HER.  

For the Masochistic Person Who Wishes to have Valentine's Day Whack them Upside the Head Repeatedly for Three Hours (with songs, too!)

For you, happy reader, I give the gift of Mohabbatein. Mohabbatein has not one, but FOUR central love stories. There's also a recurring leaf motif that has something to do with Valentine's Day. And one of the central love stories is challenged because the girl is dead! And in another one the girl is married! And in another one the boy and girl were best friends when they were little and can't get it together enough to just confess their newfound love! And all of them are challenged because the boys attend a school where love is forbidden! Add in color, pageantry, huge Bollywood stars, slaps that get repeated three times, thunder, histrionics and a weird foray into the Swiss Alps. If that doesn't spell entertainment, I can't help you.

For the Angry, Possibly Hormonal Valentiner

I have a motto. This motto is: when in doubt, Aliens. This is especially pertinent when one is faced with an onslaught of simpering cupids adorning the hallways of public buildings. Those are the times you just want to crawl into Ripley's transport loader and whack a few people. But let's not shortchange it; Aliens is full of love. Maternal love and the deep-seated, not-terribly-dignified love I experience whenever Michael Biehn walks onscreen. His and Ripley's relationship is more the slow-burning than explosive variety, but hey, sometimes those are the ones that burn you. Plus, his armor has a heart on it. Nawww.

For the Bromance-Appreciating Valentiner

My other motto is: Paul Newman (would that somehow he could be combined with Aliens...) If the type of love you're looking for is the quippy, lovable, blue-eyed banter of two incredibly handsome heterosexual life partners, look no further. Like many have said, it's a love story between two guys; the girl is incidental.

For the Valentiner Who Does not Particularly Care Which Kind of Noun They Are In Love With

I present: Ratatouille. You can fall in love with a person (Remy the rat certainly counts as a person), a place (Paris, always) or a thing (food). Or, if you're like me, all three at once. This movie never fails to make me cry tears of happy, love-filled joy.

Got any others you'd like to suggest? Let me know in the comments!